Reflections in the Dragon's Eye: A Journal

23 August 2000

Today I am On Display.

Several months ago, Karen and I were chatting on AIM, and it was decided - I can't quite remember why - that there should be days in our honor; the Feasts of Liz and Karen. For her day, Karen chose May 6th, coinciding with International No-Diet Day: Punday, the Feast of Karen.

Me, I decided that the month of August was drearily bereft of holidays of significance. Since my favorite number is 27, then, we elected August 27th to be the Feast of Liz. The first Feast of Feast of Liz will take place this Sunday.

But how, you wonder as you mark your calendar, does one celebrate the Feast of Liz? It's not exactly on Hallmark's list yet - though I'm sure it will be by next year.

Well, I'll tell you.

("He's going to tell / He's going to tell
He's going to tell / He's going to tell..."
"No' like tha'! No' like tha!)

First of all, there must be frequent Monty Python quoting. Wherever possible, you should substitute well-known MP phrases for your own statements, or respond to others' statements with MP quotes. If you are hungry, for example, that bit at the beginning of the Cheese Shop sketch would be good. (Or if you're very hungry and wish to commence to the Feast part of the Feast of Liz, you can just cut it down to "Ah'm all 'ongry-like!")

Because naturally, the Feast of Liz must involve a Feast. Otherwise, it would just be the Holiday of Liz, and that's just silly. I'm not going to dictate what you have at your Feast, in understanding of the plight of picky eaters everywhere. I specify only that whatever you decide to Feast upon, there must be a lot of it, and that you use the traditional Feast of Liz Monty Python quote prayer: "And the Lord did grin and people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and..."

In honor of the day, when you wish to compliment some part of the Feast, you may say it is "De-Liz-ious!"

Naturally on the Feast of Liz everyone should sleep in as late as they want. The traditional Feast of Liz activity will be a marathon session of reading, preferably books with a science-fiction or fantasy theme, but also including book club type books, like Memoirs of a Geisha, White Oleander, or The Poisonwood Bible. If you don't want to read, I'm willing to allow goofing off on the computer or watching television.

(Actually, since this year the Feast of Liz falls on Sunday, Sex and the City will be required viewing for all those with access to HBO.)

It's a holiday for presents, of course, because all the good holidays have presents of one sort or another. I'm not suggesting anything on the grand scale of Christmas or my birthday, of course. The opening of the present should generate almost as much enjoyment as the presents themselves. Nested boxes, trick boxes, hunts with clues... Use your imagination. And at the end, little gifts of appreciation and friendship. A paperback book; a tin of Altoids; a sheet of stickers, a refrigerator magnet... Feast of Liz gifts should stretch the imagination, not the bank account.

So there you have it. The Feast of Liz.

Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?
She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land!

Word of the Day: hypercorrection - a mistaken word or form used especially to avoid what one believes to be a grammatical error but is not. (For example, many people often use the word "whom" when the correct word is actually "who.")

News of the Weird: - The black bear appeared to be deep in a slumber in Margaret Lowry's garden. Even a blast of a police cruiser siren and a special noisemaking device didn't rouse it.

Finally, a poke confirmed the reason for the critter's sound sleep: It was a teddy bear.

[ . . . ]

Police didn't know who put the bear in the garden. "It must have been some type of prank," said dispatcher Tony Piscioneri.

Police are keeping the bear -- uncaged -- at the station.

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