1 September 2000
creaaaaaaaak... tick - tick - clatter! creaaaaaaaak...
 
Blearily, I open an eye. What time is it? I lift my head so I can see over the cat. 2:45. I pet the cat, and pull myself to a sitting position. Ow, my back is still sore. Legs are better, though.
 
Diamond, having succeeded in waking me up, sits next to me patiently. My sense of balance isn't very good at the best of times. If I try to stand up immediately after waking, I'm likely to end up flat on my face. Walking is Right Out. So I have to sit on the edge of the bed for a while, waiting for my inner ear to acknowledge the change in position.
 
I wipe the sleep from my eyes while I sit, scratch an itch on my head, dig a knuckle into my still-sore back. One knee is slightly strained from playing tennis, and it twinges. I rub it.
 
What the...? An ineffable sensation of worry mixed with curiosity. I rub it again, this time gently, carefully, with my fingertips. What's the bump? It's too dark to see, so I explore the bump with my fingers. It's two or three inches long, right on top of my kneecap, and thick, like maybe there's a piece of shoelace embedded in my skin, underneath the fat.
 
I'm not always the swiftest person early in the morning, either. I rub my other knee, to make sure this really is abnormal. Sure enough, the other knee feels like I expect. No strange bumps.
 
I probe it gently. Doesn't... really... hurt... Kindof like a mostly-healed bruise. I bend my leg experimentally. Doesn't hamper movement. I probe some more. Too soft to be bone or cartilidge. Too hard to be a blood vessel - wrong placement for that, anyway. More than anything, it feels like firm muscle, but... on my kneecap? In a bump?
 
My inner ear has finally adjusted, and there's nothing else to do but give it a try... I stand. No pain. I walk carefully out into the hallway. No more pain than usual. I am hyper-aware of my knee the whole time I am putting the cat out. It doesn't hurt any more than it's been hurting for the past few days - occasional twinges, a little achey, but the ache doesn't seem centered on the bump.
 
I give up and go back to sleep. In the morning, I check again. Yep, it's still there. I toddle downstairs to let the cat in and feed him, and in the dim light, I hike up my pajamas leg and take a look at the bump. Visually, it's actually two bumps - the shoelace sags in the middle. They don't look bruised - just bumpy.
 
The heat of the shower makes it ache a little. I show it to Matt, and he just looks at me. "What do you expect me to do about it?" his eyes ask.
 
As I write this, I am still hyper-aware of my knee. It worries me, a little. If it starts to hurt, or get bigger, or if it doesn't go away by Friday, I'll call the doctor. I'll probably cancel playing tennis on Thursday (unless it's gone by then, of course). But I really haven't got the slightest idea what it is.

 
Well, K.T. is thinking of taking a job down in Dallas, Texas. I can't remember if she mentioned this in her journal, or just on her mailing list, so I won't go into too much detail. It's her story, really. But the short version is this: She was offered a job with a large company in Dallas. Rent down there is somewhat more than twice what it is here, so she told them she wouldn't really consider it unless they also offered Kevin a job, and flew them down for an interview so they could get a look at Dallas.
 
Last night she told us that there was an "urgent" message on their answering machine from this company. She'll call back today, but she thinks - not unreasonably - that it will probably be an offer for Kevin as well, or at least some sort of negotiation. And she seemed to be seriously considering taking it.
 
I'd be sorry to see her go; she's one of my dearest friends and has been for years. But... she hasn't had a lot of luck in this area, and there are any number of things she'd like to leave behind. I agree that a fresh start might be just what she needs. And in a big city like Dallas, they'd have a better chance of finding good work, and making friends, and...
 
Besides, aside from gaming, she and I talk mostly online these days anyway.
 
But I still can't decide if I want her to go. I mean, if it's a good offer for Kevin, I think they probably should go - if only for a year or two, as a resume-builder for both of them - but selfishly, I sortof want them to stay.

 
Word of the Day: ineffable - incapable of being described in words; indescribable; unspeakable; taboo
 

 
What the heck is that in Liz's knee?
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