21 February 2001

Okay, I finally remembered to bring in the pictures of my flowers. I remembered it this morning when I was inspecting the crocuses after taking the trash out to the curb. There's actually quite a few of them now, along two sides of the mulch bed. The third side of the bed only has a couple of them, but that's the side that doesn't get sun until fairly late in the day, so I'm not too worried about it just yet. The bed that's up against the house still doesn't have so much as a bud, but that bed only gets sun for about three hours a day, so I'm not worried about it yet, either.

I love these little flecks of blue in the irises.

I actually picked one of the irises this morning. Last year I kept meaning to pick some of the daffodils and put them in a vase, but there weren't very many, and they were so pretty out in the yard... I actually had to screw up my courage to pick the iris this morning, but there were a clump of three of them so close together that you couldn't really see them very well, and a fourth only a tiny bit away, so I picked the one in the middle of the clump.

Of course, I had trouble finding something to put it in when I got to work. They're miniature irises - the stem is only about three inches long. I wound up rinsing out a salt shaker from the kitchen and using that - and it's still a little too big, but them's the breaks.

Have you ever wondered... Okay, don't laugh at me, but have you ever wondered whether you're dead or in a coma, and the evidence of your senses is just a delusion to keep you from panicking?

Too much science fiction, I know. But it happens to me all the time just lately. Every time some idiot on the road pulls out as I pass them (I hate that) I wonder if they hit the gas too hard and slammed into the side of me, but my brain is presenting me with the delusion that everything is fine so I don't panic. It's an odd sensation, and over the past, oh, month or so, I've been getting it at least two or three times a week.

It happened this morning, too. The cat woke me up around 5, so I tromped downstairs and put him in the garage, then tromped back up the stairs to bed. As I walked around the corner from the stairway into the bedroom, I thought, If you tripped and fell down the stairs and broke your neck, you'd have to lie on the floor, unable to move, until Matt got home Thursday night. Two whole days. (I had this delusion back in October when I went out of town myself, only that time it was Matt who had fallen down the stairs. I'm awful, aren't I?)

I couldn't get the image out of my head. I just couldn't. I laid in bed thinking about it. If I could use my arms, would I be able to drag myself to the phone? What would the cat do? What if it had actually happened, and I only thought I was lying in bed trying to make myself shut up and go to sleep?

I hadn't even stumbled on the stairs. No, I don't know what's wrong with me. And I'm really and truly sorry if you've never even considered this idea, but go home tonight and start having nightmares because of it.

That lasted until after 5:30. I might as well have gotten up when the cat wanted me to, fed him, and gone for an early-morning bike ride. If I'd known how nice the weather was today, I might have.

Braz came over yesterday afternoon to help me hook up a bike rack to my car, and then we went over to Colonial Williamsburg. Eventually Kris joined us, and the three of us went for a short ride - just down DoG Street and back, about two miles. Braz actually did the loop twice while Kris and I ambled along chatting. Braz was all for following that up with a ride around campus, but I nixxed it - I'm not in good enough shape yet to deal with all the friggin' hills they felt it necessary to leave on campus.

So instead, we all went home to put our bikes away, then met at Uno's for dinner. There was talk of doing something tonight as well, though precisely what depends on the weather. It's beautiful right now, but it's supposed to get cold and rainy later tonight.

It's awfully nice of the Brandts to keep me occupied while Matt's out of town, don't you think?

--Liz

Word of the Day:
surly - irritably sullen and churlish; crabbed; menacing or threatening in appearance or manner
 
Currently Reading:
- between books
 
Current Projects:
- Kris' afghan
- placemats, which I'm beginning to think aren't going to be done in time for autumn...