12 September 2001
I started writing this yesterday, while I was still too numb to really absorb things. One thing to note is that I don't always receive my e-mail in the order it was sent. The bulletins I mention below are given in the order I received them, but the timestamp is when they were sent.
I subscribe to CNN's e-mail news service. Mostly, I don't pay much attention to the short, text-only bulletins that I get from the "Breaking News" service. When I got in to work this morning, it was
9:11 PM (Monday night) -- Michael Jordan to return to NBA. Details soon.
6:55 AM -- Iraq claims U.S. spy plane shot down; Pentagon confirms losing contact with unmanned craft. Details to come.
Not much there to command my attention. Then, about the time I got my journal entry posted, there was this:
8:52 AM -- World trade center damaged; unconfirmed reports say a plane has crashed into tower. Details to come.
I skimmed that, too, skipping through my mail on my way to the comics. My brain didn't really absorb what it was saying.
Ten minutes before the staff meeting at 9:30, my phone rang. It was Matt, his voice as serious as I've ever heard it.
"Have you heard?"
"Heard what?"
"A plane crashed into the World Trade Center..." He trailed off for a moment as someone in his office spoke. "Two planes."
I glanced at my computer screen, and just at that moment, a new bulletin appearred in my mailbox.
9:21 AM -- Second plane crashes into World Trade Center.
The enormity of it hit me then, and I went numb. I fished the original bulletin out of the Trash and re-read it. That World Trade Center. Shit.
I talked to Matt for a few minutes, asking him to update me when he could. I spent several minutes trying to get to CNN.Com or MSNBC.Com for details. I couldn't get through. I was about to go to the staff meeting when another e-mail appeared.
9:32 AM -- FBI investigating reports of foul play in World Trade Center plane crashes, according to the Associated Press. Details to come.
Foul play? I went - numbly - to the staff meeting. Some people in the office hadn't heard yet. We filled them in the few details that we had.
A little after ten, as I was leaving the staff meeting, a co-worker who hadn't been in the meeting met us with the news that there one of the towers of the World Trade Center had collapsed. I went - numbly - back to my desk.
9:32 AM -- Sources tell CNN one of two planes that crashed into World Trade Center was an American Airlines 767.
9:42 AM -- President Bush calls plane crashes at World Trade Center a terrorist act.
9:46 AM -- White House evactuated. Details to come.
9:47 AM -- Fire reported on National Mall in Washington
9:55 AM -- CNN confirms a plane hit the Pentagon.
9:45 AM -- Significant fire at the Pentagon. Details to come.
10:03 AM -- One of World Trade Center towers collapses; fire forces evacuation of State Department
And as I was reading those...
10:13 AM -- United Nations evacuated.
I looked at Mike, who had come around behind me to read the reports over my shoulder. "We'll be at war before the week is out," I said quietly. He only nodded.
There was a message on my voice mail - my father had called to see if I wanted to go out to lunch with him and my uncle, who is visiting, but leaving today. I called him back.
"Lunch sounds good," I said. "Have you seen the news?"
He hadn't. I filled him in, my throat tightening as my dad repeated everything I said for the benefit of my uncle and my mother.
"The news sites are clogged, so all I can do is wait for the mail bulletins," I said. "Turn on CNN. I'm going to want a report when you get here for lunch."
Mike came back into the office. "C.J. has a television in his office," he said. I said goodbye to my dad, and followed Mike back to C.J.'s office, where on a static-y, guttering five-inch monitor, seven or eight of us gathered to stare dumbly at the one remaining tower of the World Trade Center, and trade tidbits of information gleaned from news sites, when we could get through, and radios scattered around the office.
I went back to my desk to read yet another bulletin.
10:38 AM -- Car bombing at the State Department, The Associated Press reports.
The (parenthesis) mailing list had also been busy - Lynda's husband works at the Pentagon, but she hadn't heard anything specific.
I went to another meeting with a supervisor who was almost too shaky to go over the project schedule with me. A LOT of the people in my office are ex-military. They have friends who work at the Pentagon, and they know far better than I ever want to how bad this could be.
When I got back to my office, there were more reports.
10:44 AM -- Pentagon monitoring second suspected hijacked plane.
10:50 AM -- Fighter scrambled amid reports of second plane headed for Pentagon.
10:26 AM -- FAA diverting all U.S.-bound international flights to Canada.
Back in C.J.'s office, I found out that the second tower of the Trade Center had collapsed. I leaned against the desk and stared with my co-workers at the hole in the New York horizon. Jason came in, as subdued and pale as the rest of us. "Word from upstairs: liberal leave is in effect until further notice." Liberal leave means that employees can leave at their own discretion, without clearing it with their supervisors, and we have thirty days to make up the lost time if we don't want to use vacation time.
I went back to my office.
10:39 AM -- Part of Pentagon collapses
10:30 AM -- Second World Trade Center tower collapses in Manhattan
Mike decided to go home for the rest of the day. I thought about it, but it was after eleven, and I'm meeting my family for lunch.
News came that Lynda's husband, at least, was unharmed by the Pentagon attack. I breathed a sigh of relief for her.
11:18 AM -- NTSB confirms plane crashes near Pittsburgh
It's nearly noon now, and there have been no further news bulletins. A few minutes ago I stuck my head into someone's office to listen to a bit of radio. No new news... Confirmation of previous reports, speculation on who might have done it, concentrating on Osama bin Laden.
CNN.Com has stripped the front page of their website down to two graphics and a bullet list of updates, and is linking only to that story - in an effort, I imagine, to reduce bandwidth strain.
I'm still half in shock. How long before we're at war? Can a country declare war on terrorists? Terrorists with the unofficial backing of the government they support?
How long has it been since there has been a war fought on American soil? The Civil War? When did that end? 1865... a hundred and thirty-six years.
And the hell of it is... Watching that grainy image, the smoke and dust billowing from where the World Trade Center used to be... I did not think, I hope war can be averted. I did not hope that those responsible would be brought swiftly to justice.
I thought, We'll have to hit them hard and fast, and make an example of them, or it will happen again. I thought, It's been a long time since we were involved in a war so personal, where the nation's anger is as much a motivating force as any political or economic agenda.
Finally, I thought, My god. I have friends who live close to Washington and New York.
That's where I left it yesterday when my dad arrived to take me to lunch. As I'm sure was the case across the country, and certainly on the rest of the east coast, we talked of little else.
We did spare some time to talk about my grandfather, who is not well, and the heartbreak of my grandmother having to keep him in the constant-care unit of their retirement home.
When they dropped me back off at work, I gathered my things and went home.
Karen was on Instant Messenger. I was relieved to see her there. She doesn't go into New York City very often, but the worry had been there. I tried to call Ashby, and got his sister, who told me he was still asleep. More relief, though I had been even more certain of his safety, since the Pentagon isn't tight-packed with other buildings the way the World Trade Center is (was).
Matt had also left work early, but he wasn't home; he'd gone to get his allergy shots and then to give blood at our local Red Cross chapter.
He came home while I was talking with Karen, irritable - he hadn't been able to find the Red Cross building, nor to get coherent directions from anyone he'd asked.
We found out a bit later that our local Red Cross was full to capacity anyway. I called them this morning, and they haven't organized a drive yet, but they took my name and number and promised to call as soon as they knew something. If not here in Williamsburg, I know there's one in Hampton tomorrow; I'll take a long lunch, or leave work early.
(If you haven't given blood yet, then make plans to do so. Especially if you're blood type O. I heard a report yesterday that type O donors will be jumped to the head of the lines.)
I watched CNN from 2:15 yesterday afternoon until just after Bush's address at 8:30. While I watched, I logged into IRC and chatted with friends who were as shocked and horrified as I was. I think we were all watching different channels, and so we shared bits of information as it came up.
Karen could only get a single channel (they don't have cable, and most of the local stations had had their antennae on the World Trade Center) and - being local to New York - it was concentrating on the New York events. She didn't see pictures of the Pentagon or the crash site in Philadelphia until almost 5:00. Her cousin's husband is a cop in New York City.
Colleen, a school teacher here in VA, wasn't even told about the events until 2:45. She said she'd known, though, because she'd logged into CNN at lunch - and then had to spend three hours pretending nothing was wrong to her kids. An ex-boyfriend of hers, with whom she's still friends, is a paramedic in Washington. He spent his day performing triage at the Pentagon.
Mike, out on the left coast, said things there were surreally normal, except for the lack of airplane noise and the constant fixation on TVs and radios.
Matt's mom called around 10:30 or so to check on us. She told us that Matt's sister - who works as a nutritionist at a hospital in Chicago - had spent her day helping to move patients around, making space in anticipation of transferred casualties.
Today I'm back in the office. I'm supposed to go back to work and be productive. That's a laugh - I'm debugging code, which requires quite a bit of concentration. How am I supposed to concentrate?
Ah, well, I'll give it a try. I guess that's all any of us can do. Work, and wait, and see what happens.