30 August 2002

I went to the doctor this morning. Last Thursday, when I went to bed, Matt rolled over to snuggle with me and asked in a half-asleep voice if I was going to talk to the doctor when I went in the next day to have my thyroid tested.

"No," I said, "it's just a blood test. I won't see the doctor at all, probably. Talk to him about what?"

"You said the next time you went in you'd talk to him about-"

Flashback.

This spring. Matt and I went out to dinner together, to Second Street. And we're sitting there, eating our dinners and talking about nothing much in particular, and out of the blue, Matt said, "I wanted to let you know that I'm still thinking about the possibility of us having kids."

"Oh?" I said.

"And I think I'm kind of moving from the No camp toward the Maybe camp."

"Oh. Okay." We talked about it a little more, and I agreed, since health was one of Matt's primary concerns, that the next time I went to my doctor, I'd talk to him about it.

Only... Maybe isn't yes, and Matt didn't seem to be in any hurries. And he's one of those people that if you try to rush him or nag him about something, he'll just dig his heels in and go the other way in reaction. So I didn't ask him about it, and while I didn't precisely forget, I wasn't exactly treating it with any urgency. He'd let me know if he moved from the Maybe camp to the Yes camp, right? Time enough then to worry about seeing the doctor.

End Flashback.

"You said the next time you went in you'd talk to him about babies and stuff."

Oh, yeah. I had. Okay. So I went in to the office last Friday to have some blood drawn for my annual thyroid check, and while I was there, I made an appointment. Family planning.

Tuesday, Matt took me out to dinner at Second Street. (For the Feast of Liz, you know.) And the subject came up again.

"How do you feel about it?" Matt asked. "I thought I should check and make sure that in my rampant enthusiasm, you haven't backed off from wanting kids..."

"I still feel good about it," I reassured him. "But the last time we really talked, you were only just moving into the Maybe camp. I wasn't sure whether you've crossed over into the Definitely camp yet or not."

He looked just the tiniest bit sheepish. "Yeah, I have."

So this morning he went with me to the doctor, and my doctor gave us some advice (some of which was good, and some of which will be roundly ignored unless and until we actually have trouble conceiving) and he gave me two prescriptions - one for my thyroid medicine, and one for pre-natal vitamins, which he says it can't hurt to start taking right away, especially as they often result in upset stomachs, so I might have to try several brands. (Geez, I thought I wasn't supposed to get sick until after I was pregnant.)

So. That's where we are. I'll go to the drugstore this weekend. I will not be resuming my birth control pills after the current pack is finished. We haven't decided quite yet when we want to start "trying," but my doctor suggested giving my body at least two months to flush out the birth control remnants anyway - and if we're waiting longer than that, well... I've been on birth control since I was seventeen. I figure the longer we can give my body to normalize and stabilize, the better.

We've been talking about things, off and on, for the last week. Adjustments to be made. Which room to turn into the nursery. How it impacts our other house-improvement plans. Joking about things we will not name our child. How many children we might (eventually) have. Things we need to look into.

"This mania," I said, "for a fancily-decorated nursery that Kris and Colleen both got-"

Matt interrupted me. "Actually, the nursery painting was Braz's and Carl's ideas."

"Okay, fine. But if you get any ideas for fancy painting on the nursery walls, I am not helping. You can get Braz or Carl to help you with that. I'd be perfectly happy with, I dunno, maybe a light green or pastel yellow, and some nice pictures on the walls."

Matt looked extremely sheepish. "Actually, when you said green just now, I thought maybe a seascape would be nice..."

Like that.

Things are going to get very, very interesting in the Brooks household sometime in the next six months or so...

--Liz