Penny was good last night. I put her down, and she went to sleep. I woke up several times through the night when she would start to make noises, and this is what I would hear:

"Ehhh... Eh! Waah! Waah! Waa- *" And then silence.

It's as if my fairy godmother was sitting on the head of her crib and hitting her with the sleep wand every time she thought about waking up.

That happened about four times, and then finally around 2:30 she woke up and was actually hungry enough to resist the siren call of sleep. So I gave her a bottle, and fifteen minutes later, she was back in her crib and swiftly drifting back to sleep.

Except I couldn't get back to sleep. I went back to bed and my brain started tossing and turning.

I mentally grumbled about FedEx not delivering K.T.'s Christmas present and rehearsed telling them off. (I found out yesterday they'd sent it back as "wrong address" - again! I swear, I'm going to stop using FedEx.) I worked over the next bit of Silver and Green that I want to write. I pondered changes to Circle in the Sand, to tighten it up some. I worked over another bit of Silver and Green.

I wondered why I was so hot, and kicked the blankets off. I wondered why I was so cold, and burrowed back under them. I tried for a happy medium - only covering half my body. The lower half? The left half? No dice. I wondered if I had a fever, but didn't feel like turning on the light to check.

I checked the clock. I turned the pillow over. Penny coughed, and I froze, praying. Please don't wake up please don't wake up please don't- Whew. I made little deals with myself. If I go to sleep now I'll get almost three hours of sleep before morning. ... Okay, if I go to sleep now I'll get two and a half hours of sleep...

I finally got back to sleep around four. Bleah.

We discovered last night that Penny will go down in her crib for me, but not for Matt. When he put her down, she woke up and started crying until he picked her up again. So I took her, rocked her until her eyes drooped closed again, and put her down. She woke up, but I just kissed her and walked out of the room, and she didn't make a sound.

Was she just not sleepy enough for Matt? Or is it because I'm the one who's been the badass the last few days, willing to put her down and let her crank herself to sleep? Is her little mind developed enough to reason that Matt will pick her back up, but I'll walk out of the room? I don't know. I know older kids will behave differently for different parents, testing limits of leniency, but is she advanced enough, at four and a half months?

I hope she just wasn't sufficiently sleepy. Probably by next week, Matt will be back on night-time feeding duty, and he'll have to put her back to bed.

Not to mention next month, when I'll be out of town for three days.

Maybe by then she'll be sleeping through the night. Ha! Ha! Ha! (I can always dream.)

--Liz