Wow. One year ago, we saw Penny for the very first time. (Well, one year ago yesterday. One year ago today, I wrote about it in my journal.)

She's stopped sleeping through the night. Alas. And she's stopped eating solid food with anything like enthusiasm - I have to wedge the spoon between her lips. Alack. I'm hoping it's all just the remnants of her little stomach bug, and any day now she'll get her appetite back and her joy in solid food and her ability to sleep through the night. Especially that last one. I was just starting to get used to it.

I tried something different last night, when she woke up. Instead of turning on the light and changing her and giving her to Matt for a bottle, I went in and picked her up and soothed her in the dark until she stopped crying, and then I put her back in her crib, and went back to bed.

She did not start crying again immediately. I was both pleased and astonished.

For about two minutes, until she realized she'd been gypped, and she started crying again.

Oh, well. Until she starts sleeping through the night again, we may keep trying it. It might eventually work.

I don't know whether I'll be writing journal entries for the first part of next week. Sunday, late afternoon, I'll be packing up and driving up to DC for a three-day class. I'm taking my laptop with me, and I should have internet connectivity at the hotel, but I probably won't have my usual morning routine of writing my journal entry before breakfast.

Though if the class is extremely boring, I might be able to write entries during the day and post them in the evenings. We'll see. The brochure on the class promises that it is a very interactive, hands-on class, so I may be too busy, even if it's boring. I'll try to at least drop a note or two in the blog, though.

Of course it goes without saying that I'm still kind of nervous. Even though she's been really pretty good lately, Matt and I both have this fear that every time we leave the other alone with her, she will turn into the screaming demon hell-child of misery and despair.

And I'll be gone three whole days. What if she gets sick again? I really wouldn't have wanted to handle that by myself.

I'd started to feel a little better about it, since she was sleeping through the night, but unless she magically starts again this weekend (hahaha)...

And there are less rational fears. She's not quite old enough to get object permanence or separation anxiety, but what if she decides she misses me and cries inconsolably? Worse, what if she forgets me while I'm gone? (Well, I said it was irrational...)

And of course, since Matt will be wrangling all by himself, I won't be able to call frequently to check in on them. It's a good thing my company has a toll-free number to call for internet access. I can just hang out online and wait for him to get a moment to log in and reassure me that he and Penny are both still just fine.

And worry.

(Did I ever mention that the mutant worrybrain had inexplicably taken a vacation while I was pregnant? It did. It was so nice, only worrying about things that actually deserved my energy. Now I know where it went: It was getting its new parental upgrade mods.)

--Liz